If you were born between the years 1981 and 1996 and you’re feeling the strain of modern times and pining for ‘the old days’, you might just be suffering from the Millennial Ache.

Lawwwwd the 80s and 90s were just so much fun, weren’t they!? The style was garish in the BEST way, the music was upbeat, the movies were entertaining blockbusters, VHS was king and everything was so damn colourful! Personally I still prefer jeans, a graphic tee, an oversized jacket, skinny jeans/leggings and a pair of high tops as a daily outfit – if I could only wear one outfit for the rest of my life, that would be it. I would have a casette player/Walkman attached to my hip, have a phone that only could only send texts and make calls, and the only thing relying on me in any capacity would be a Tamagotchi. Now, everything feels so drab, and I’m not just talking about style and pop culture.

I’ve seen this thing about the ‘Millennial Ache’ going around the internet for a few weeks now and it’s been swirling around in my mind almost daily. The basic idea is that Millennials, having gone through (and still going through) a lot of economic and societal upheaval, are feeling extremely nostalgic for a much simpler time, a time when you couldn’t be contacted immediately, when information wasn’t readily available within a second, when being outside was the norm and much safer than now. Not to mention pre-recessions, far pre-Covid and pre-cost of living crisis and inflation.

The past two decades have felt like a continual slap in the face every time we try to get somewhere and do something. We’ve helped Boomers and Gen X get onboard with speedily evolving technology while they’ve admonished us for trying to carve our own path in life; we’ve paved the way for Gen Z to utilise such tech and taken nothing but flack from them; we’ve learned that education does not always equate to job security (or securing a job at all); we’ve watched as world leaders burn the world to the ground with little idea on what we can do about it; right now, the economy sucks, birth rates are declining, family values are being rewritten, houses are unaffordable to the average Millennial, the environment is dying, money is tight, the rich are even tighter… man, I could go on. We’ve put up with a hell of a lot, and we’re exhausted. The burn-out is causing such a mental health crisis across the world, so can we really be blamed for wanting to dig into our minds and find the last time we felt reasonably safe and hopeful? Is it our fault that it just so happens to be when we were innocent kids, the final generation to enjoy life before the Information Age?

As a Millennial birthed in 1989, I am someone who also likes to lose myself in thoughts of a bygone era, one that we will never get back but that can provide a little comfort and relief. However, what I mainly want to do here is not dive into self-pity and nostalgia. I want to remind Millennials, myself included, that this could be a dangerous, slippery slope if we’re not careful.

Our childhood/young adulthood was a simpler time because it was easier to bury our heads in the sand and live in ignorance. News from around the world wasn’t as readily available to us and it could easily be avoided by not watching or listening to the news or reading newspapers. We didn’t have to grow up quickly because most important information was only available to adults with access and they could decide what to divulge to us. Ignorance truly was bliss. Now, we get notifications often within an hour of a big world event, and there are events happening daily. On top of this, we know that good news generally doesn’t sell, and so we’re overwhelmed with negativity, narrow-minded opinions, strong opinions, and a hell of a lot of ‘fake’ news. It’s litte wonder we’re starting to fold in on ourselves, but we need to be aware of how much we rely on this nostalgia to get us through the tough days. Too much dwelling on the past could make us resentful of the present, harming our mental health (more so than it already is) and inhibiting the ability to tackle our problems. Therapy is perhaps the better (and more modern) way to go if reality is becoming that overwhelming, because longing will only get you so far before it starts to seep into your regular consciousness and bury its way in until it deforms into depression and instability (this is not a professional opinion, only my view on the path these thoughts could take). Many of us already grew up with emotionally repressed Boomer parents – we need to break the cycle, not indulge it.

In many ways we’re lucky to be so abreast of what’s going on the world. I don’t want to use a word that’s been taken and warped beyond its original meaning, but the world is indeed ‘woke’ now, in the literal sense. The Internet and modern tech has allowed us (often forced us, really) to open our eyes. You can continue to try burying your head in the childhood sand, but modern life will force you from it. The pros and cons of 21st century living are insurmountable on either side, and so nostalgia versus reality becomes a catch-22. We do have the ability to switch off notifications, delete social media and live ‘off-grid’ of sorts, but with that comes FOMO – fear of missing out, or missing out on something genuinely important. I think the world is in for a reckoning when it comes to social media in the future: younger people are going to realise the harm its causing and rebel against it, at least for a time. These things have a tendency to come and go in waves, and I think as younger generations lean into this 21st century awareness, they will have a better grasp on the repercussions of it than us. I sincerely hope they learn from us in the ways we’ve learned what not to do from watching older generations. I pray they get a better balance and grip on globalisation and this heavily interconnected society than we have.

Ultimately, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and your 80s/90s childhood is your happy, comforting place, by all means go there, but treat it like a hotel: it’s not your permanent residence. You visit, have a good time, then return to reality, refreshed (hopefully) and ready to take it on once more. And maybe try a digital detox for a bit. Good luck to you, and godspeed to us all.

For further help, check out Helen McPherson on TikTok – the queen of Millennial nostalgia and anecdotes. Think of her as medicine to placate the longing.